


HP148 is Typing

by FaeOrabel



Series: The Love of a Faery 2021 [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, But is it really though?, Codenames, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Explicit Sexual Content, Fairest of the Rare's Love Fest 2021, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Magical means to having sex, Masturbation, Modern Letter fic, Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Online Dating, Pining, Pre-Marriage Law, Soulmates With A Twist, Surprise Sex, Wizards get computers, bc Hermione, i'm probably missing some tags, just go with it, not totally canon compliant, penpals, text fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:14:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29586372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaeOrabel/pseuds/FaeOrabel
Summary: When Hermione signs Harry up for a dating site without his knowledge, will he really be able to relax and find a match? And what if that match turns out to be someone he definitely wasn't expecting?LoveFest2021 #LF2021 #TeamVenus
Relationships: Theodore Nott/Harry Potter
Series: The Love of a Faery 2021 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2173212
Comments: 14
Kudos: 68
Collections: Love Fest 2021, Rare Pairs RHM Read for LoveFest





	HP148 is Typing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ArielSakura](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArielSakura/gifts).



> Written for my love ArielSakura
> 
> I hope you enjoy it babe! It's my twist on a text fic, even thought I realized mid-fic that I actually don't really know what that is. Sooooooo.... I hope I did it justice. lmao.
> 
> Written for Fairest of the Rare's Love Fest 2021. Find them on Facebook if you enjoy all things rare.
> 
> I wrote this at like 3AM, I apologise for any glaring mistakes, this is largely unbeta'd, but was given the thumbs up from my alpha, WordsmithMusings, so hopefully that means any mistakes are forgivable. 
> 
> If I am missing tags, I will go back and add them. 
> 
> #LF2021 #TeamVenus

**HP148 is Typing**

_by FaeOrabel_

* * *

For ArielSakura

* * *

_*italics denotes conversation taking place in the instant messenger chat room*_

* * *

Harry groaned, falling over onto the couch and shoving his face in the cushions. 

“I don’t want to, Hermione!” he whinged. 

“I don’t care, Harry. I already signed you up. Don’t you want to support your best friend?” Hermione pouted, pulling him up to look at her and giving him the kicked puppy look. 

“Yes of course I want to support you! Always! But did it have to be in this?” Harry grumbled. 

“You’re single, you’re fit, you could use the anonymity to your advantage. You’re literally the perfect candidate,” Hermione raised a brow and crossed her arms over her chest, daring him to fight her on the facts. 

Harry sighed and sat back up. 

Hermione had been working with Luna and the Twins to bring more technology into the Wizarding World and they finally got computers to work. Of course, they were a best selling item, wizards and witches all over the world interested in the new form of communication. People had started realizing that using owls as much as they did were hurting the creatures, especially for international travel, and sending a Patronus could be super disrupting with major lack of privacy if the person you sent it to wasn’t alone. Sending people through a Floo was one thing, but trying to send letters was a disaster. If they didn’t burn up when you sent it through, it met a fiery end on the other side, sometimes taking whole throw rugs with them. 

So, Hermione had the grand idea that they could bring instant messaging to the medieval world. Luna was there for her theory and arithmantic work, and the Twins were to be the sellers and help when things exploded. Plus, being raised by Arthur, they had a lot of great ideas about how to get the tech to work in the magical world. 

They kicked off advertising for the computers by also repping Luna’s new Magicals Only dating site. They figured it would be a great way to get everyone introduced to the way the tech functions and it was a hand off to Kingsley who was dealing with the Wizengamot pushing for a Marriage Law. A win-win situation all around. This got computers introduced to the wizarding world and got people dating again, which would hopefully mean more marriages and more babies to shut the old Purebloods on the Wizengamot up. 

Luna touted that she had a surefire way embedded into the dating site that would guarantee “perfect matches.”

Harry didn’t think there was such a thing. He also didn’t think the whole dating thing would go the way they planned, because dating didn’t always lead to happily ever after. He knew firsthand with how his relationship with Ginny crashed and burned. 

They were doing fine, until Harry quit the Aurors and decided he just wanted a quiet life for a few years. He wasn’t even sure if he ever wanted to work a real job, and having the money to do so, he didn’t see why he should. A break would give him the opportunity to see what was out there, have no pressures on him on a daily basis, and get him out of the spotlight. 

He hated the spotlight. 

Unfortunately, with Ginny going on to becoming a professional Quidditch player, she loved it. She didn’t see why Harry thought it was so bad. She loved talking to fans, getting pictures, and signing autographs everywhere she went. But Harry never saw the appeal, he always just wanted to be Harry—not The Boy Who Lived, Not The Man Who Lived Twice, Not The Saviour Of The Wizarding World. None of it. 

He thought there was a disgusting irony in being famous for killing someone twice. 

Getting support from Hermione and Ron over his decision just showed him how much he and Ginny were on different pages. He ended it, and she did not take it well. 

He confessed to Hermione and Ron later that he wasn’t even sure he liked women. It took Ron only a moment longer than Hermione to understand and back him on his possibly new sexuality. 

Harry just wanted a chance to find all these things out without expectations making the decision for him. 

He never got that his entire life, and now he could.

But Hermione decided to help along the process by signing him up for her stupid dating site!

“Fine, I’ll try it out. Give you feedback on if I even find anyone. But if I don’t, then don’t make me continue at it. Deal?” Harry stuck his hand out for her to shake on it. 

“Deal. You have to at least try with three matches, and if none of them work out, then you get a pass on trying anymore. But I truly think you will like it. You don’t have to reveal who you are until you're ready. You get to communicate on your own terms, finding interests in a no-strings-attached setting. You get a chance to be Harry, just Harry. Er- well, a chance to be,” she looked down at the computer that was sitting on Harry’s coffee table in his out-of-the-way cottage, “HissingPixie148.”

“What!” Harry exclaimed, pulling the laptop onto his lap. 

“It’s not my fault, the program takes your information and automatically generates ambiguous names. So that you don’t pick something that makes it obvious who you are,” Hermione shrugged and stood up, wandering to her kitchen for a cup of tea. 

He watched her go with a slight glare on his face, putting the laptop back on his coffee table. Looking around his cozy living room, he was reminded once again how much he liked his home. He still had Grimmauld Place, but for now, it was too painful to live there. He was having a professional team come in and renovate it, getting rid of the darkness… and most of the memories. 

Standing up and stretching, he followed her to the kitchen, leaning against his small island to watch her get out his kettle and prepare to make tea. She was as much home here as he was, even though she was living full-time with the Twins now. 

During their time working together, they’d found that all three felt more deeply about the others than friends. Thus, Hermione was now in a relationship with both Fred  _ and _ George. She’d been quick to assure him that Fred and George weren’t together in that way, just that she was with both of them and both of them were with her. Harry hadn’t needed the explanation; who was he to judge when he didn’t even know what or who he was interested in?

Ron had taken more convincing, but he’d come around as he always did. Harry thought he was just bitter that Hermione ended up with his brothers over him. 

But both Hermione and Ron had agreed they weren’t well suited. Thank Merlin for Harry, who had to sit through their fights from both ends, trying to help and agree with both sides. 

Harry knew one thing: He didn’t want to become a therapist. 

* * *

The next day, Harry was watering his indoor plants when he heard his laptop make a ding sound. He set the cup that he was using on the table and sat on his couch. Pulling the computer onto his lap, he raised his feet to rest them on the edge of his table. 

Clicking into the one program he had on the damn thing, he saw a little red bubble in the corner, telling him he had a notification. 

Opening it up, the screen filled with a message informing him he had four “perfect matches” varying in percentage of compatibility. 

One was CheeryWaffle872. Clicking into their profile he saw they had an 89% compatibility rating. All of the information seemed normal. Single, full-time job, international travel license. Harry scrolled and saw “Interested in both men and women” and paused. Realizing he had no idea what Hermione put for him. 

Clicking out of CheeryWaffle and into his own, still with that horrid name, he scrolled down to the “searching for” section. Breathing a sigh of relief, he saw Hermione had answered “unsure but open to possibilities.” A little flowery for him, but it didn’t set him in one category or the other and he appreciated that. 

Sending off a simple greeting to CheeryWaffle, he went back to his notifications. 

The second was DaringGorgon509. Their page was very flowery, basically spouting off about soulmates and excitement for the opportunity to find theirs. They had an 91% compatibility with Harry and were interested in only men. 

That brought to Harry’s attention that he hadn’t looked at the gender of each person. Scrolling back up, he found CheeryWaffle to be male and DaringGorgon was female. 

Looking within to see how that made him feel, he realized he truly didn’t care. Shrugging, he sent off another greeting to DaringGorgon and continued. 

His third match was PurringProwler435. 93% compatibility. Interested in men. Female. He sent her a greeting as well. 

Figuring he fulfilled his three match deal with Hermione, he almost didn’t even look at the fourth match. The compatibility rating is what made him pause, though. 

100% Match. 

Harry didn’t even think that was possible on this stupid website. Hermione hadn’t explained how they came to their compatibility conclusions, nor what Luna’s “surefire way” of finding successful matchers were. 

Sighing, he thought, well, now he had to send the person a message and give them a chance. He couldn’t lose out on a 100% match. He wasn’t sure how rare they were on this thing. It would be a crime not to at least try—at least for all the people who don’t get a 100%. 

Clicking into their profile, he saw their username was TickledNiffler367. Chuckling, Harry was glad that he wasn’t the only one with a horrid penname. 

Their profile was no more or less interesting than the other three had been, except that their “interested in” section was the exact same as Harry’s. Looking further than he had with the others, he saw that they liked Quidditch, rooting for Puddlemere United. Same as Harry, but he never told Ron that. 

They were “currently unemployed, but searching,” much like Harry was. 

And Harry noticed that the person was interested in the arts, such as painting, drawing and ceramics. Harry didn’t know if it was one or all three, given that most of the answers were multiple choice options for anonymity as Hermione kept touting. 

Harry took a little more time with his greeting.

_ HissingPixie148: Wow, 100% huh? I guess that must be something special on here. Well, hello perfect match. I hope all is well wherever you are in the world — I guess I could’ve checked that before typing. Did you catch the most recent Puddlemere game? _

Staring at it for another second, he clicked send, figuring it sounded very much like him and hopefully that would be endearing to TickledNiffler367. 

Closing his laptop, he continued his daily chores and then went for a flight around his land, ending the day with dinner at the Leaky with Hermione, Fred, and George. 

* * *

The next couple days included Harry visiting Diagon for food, the local Muggle village to see a new film at the cinema, and mostly just lazing about his home. He read several books and researched jobs in the area. He even made himself a bookshelf, simply for something to do. 

This is the kind of life Harry had wanted for himself. No expectations, no tasks, nothing to worry about except whatever he wanted to do. 

He’d taken to scrolling on the internet for a little while everyday, mostly watching videos on YouTube and such. That was how he figured out how to build his bookshelf. 

He put the shelf in his bedroom, liking the way it took up some space in the large area, but then he realized he didn’t really have any more books to put on it, all of his current ones being housed in his study. 

He made a plan to visit the bookshop in Diagon the next day. He wanted to build himself a potions lab in the basement so that he could get better at brewing with no Professor Snape breathing down his neck. 

While walking into the kitchen to make himself some dinner, his computer dinged. He sat at his island and opened it up to see a notification from the dating site. 

He’d talked with CheeryWaffle and DaringGorgon a little bit over the last couple of days, never hearing back from PurringProwler nor TickledNiffler. He enjoyed the conversation, but it was so far just small talk. Something Harry could do without in his life. He figured he’d continue to give them a chance in order to make good on his deal with Hermione, but he thought to himself that if it didn’t pick up in a week, neither person was probably worth pursuing. 

*1 new message*

Flashed across his screen. 

Clicking into the messages section, his heart skipped a beat when he saw it was from TickledNiffler. His perfect match. 

He opened the little message. 

_ TickledNiffler367: Sorry it took me so long to write back. I’m still trying to get the hang of this stupid thing.  _

_ I have no clue what 100% compatibility is supposed to mean. Is that even a thing? Surely there is something different about us. I’m just outside of St. Neot in Cornwall.  _

_ Where are you? _

_ And yeah, I did. Can’t believe they lost, at least we got the snitch, I guess.  _

Harry chuckled, thinking he’d said the same thing about the compatibility numbers. 

_ HissingPixie148: I thought the same thing about the compatibility rating.  _

_ I’m outside of Ashburton in Devon, so we aren’t too far from each other surprisingly.  _

_ I’ll always root for the Seeker even if the points don’t total in our favor. _

Harry was about to step away when his computer dinged again. 

_ TickledNiffler367: Ah, so you must’ve been a seeker in school then, weren’t you? _

Harry hadn’t had this happen yet, where the messages could flow back and forth in real time. He was excited by the prospect. 

_ HissingPixie148: Guilty as charged. What about you? Did you play? _

_ TickledNiffler367: No, not on the team. I mostly just play recreationally. I’m always the Keeper, though.  _

_ HissingPixie148: I think I’ll be the judge of you being a keeper or not.  _

Harry smacked his forehead, wondering why the fuck he sent that. That was entirely too cheeky and flirty right off the bat. He sat staring at the screen, hoping for a response. 

_ TickledNiffler367: I just choked on my tea from how bad that joke was.  _

Harry breathed a deep sigh of relief. 

_ HissingPixie148: Haha, yeah sorry. That was pretty bad.  _

_ TickledNiffler367: So, why are you on here? _

_ HissingPixie148: Honestly? _

_ TickledNiffler367: Well, yeah. I won’t judge.  _

_ HissingPixie148: My friend signed me up. Told me I was the “perfect candidate.” I still haven’t decided if that was an insult or not.  _

_ TickledNiffler367: I’d consider it one. Haha. My friend signed me up too.  _

_ HissingPixie148: Really? _

_ TickledNiffler367: Yeah, he’s been telling me to get out there more ever since he considers himself in love.  _

_ HissingPixie148: Wants to share the wealth or something. _

_ TickledNiffler367: Exactly.  _

Harry searched for a way to continue the conversation, not wanting it to end. 

_ HissingPixie148: So I saw we are both unemployed, any idea what you want to do? _

_ TickledNiffler367: Not really. I just know I like painting and having no expectations put upon me. _

_ HissingPixie148: I feel the same way.  _

_ About the expectations.  _

_ Not the painting.  _

_ Though I’m sure it’s fun. I just don’t have a creative bone in my body.  _

_ TickledNiffler367: I’m sure you’re more creative than you think. Have you made anything by hand recently? _

_ HissingPixie148: Well, I built myself a bookshelf. For my bedroom. But then I realized I had no books to put on it. _

_ TickledNiffler367: See? That’s creative. You’ll have to fix the book situation, though. I don’t think I’ve ever met a person who doesn’t own a single book. Even my friend who hates reading owns the KamaSutra.  _

_ HissingPixie148: Oh my gosh, that’s priceless. No, I have books. I just already had them all on other bookshelves in my study.  _

_ TickledNiffler367: Oh good. I was ready to chalk this dating thing up to fiction if my “perfect match” didn’t like reading.  _

_ HissingPixie148: Bookworm then? _

_ TickledNiffler367: Guilty.  _

_ HissingPixie148: I have a best friend just like that.  _

_ TickledNiffler367: Maybe I’m their perfect match then.  _

_ HissingPixie148: Maybe, but I don’t think I’m ready to give you up yet.  _

_ TickledNiffler367: Good.  _

Harry smiled so large, he knew he looked like a lunatic. 

_ TickledNiffler367: Much to my despair, I need to eat some dinner before my stomach eats itself.  _

_ HissingPixie148: Me too.  _

Harry was sad that their night of talking was ending so soon. He didn’t even know who this person was and already he was attached to them. 

_ TickledNiffler367: Want to meet back on here in an hour? _

_ HissingPixie148:  _ **_*HissingPixie 148 is typing*_ **

Harry didn’t want to sound too desperate, but he also didn’t want to sound disinterested. 

_ HissingPixie148: Sounds Great.  _

A smile back on his face. He thought that was perfect and closed the laptop. Making himself a quick dinner before carrying his laptop up to his room and returning to his conversation with TickledNiffler. 

They chatted way into the night and the early morning, finally saying goodnight around two in the morning. 

Both seemed reluctant to log off. 

* * *

It was a couple days later when Harry finally got his first clue as to who TN—as he’d started calling the mystery person—might be. 

They both went to Hogwarts at the same time. 

_ TN: And do you remember Professor Slughorn? I swear that man drooled everytime he looked at the great Harry Potter.  _

Harry gulped. He couldn’t give anything away, for Hermione was right. He was starting to get addicted to the anonymity the site offered. He was having such wonderful conversations with TickledNiffler that didn’t hinge on the fact he was The Saviour. 

He wasn’t ready for TN to know. 

_ HP: Merlin, I know right? It was ridiculous.  _

_ TN: I don’t know if I want to know which house you were in or not.  _

_ HP: Why’s that? _

_ TN: Because if you were in my house, that narrows it down so much, and I don’t think I could live with you being one of my dorm mates.  _

_ HP: Fair. We don’t say it just yet then.  _

_ TN: Deal.  _

Harry smiled, looking away for a moment so he could map out the next piece of furniture he wanted to build. 

_ TN: Hey HP? _

_ HP: Yes? _

_ TN: Can I send you a gift? _

_ HP: Like what? _

_ TN: A painting I did. When I was thinking of you this week.  _

_ HP: Aw you sap. _

_ TN: Bugger off.  _

_ HP: Of course you can send me a painting. How would you get it to me though? _

_ TN: My friend that signed me up for this site said that I could tell my owl your penname and they’d still find you. Something about the magic built into the profiles.  _

_ HP: Sounds great.  _

_ TN: Great. You’re not allowed to laugh at it though.  _

_ HP: I’d never. _

_ TN: Good.  _

* * *

The next day, Harry got a portrait of an actual Pixie. It wasn’t hissing, and for that, he was grateful. But it was sitting on a flower, a contemplative look on it’s little face. It was nothing like the pixies he’d seen in that god awful class by Lockhart. It was like a miniature, green-skinned person with wings. 

The painting was hung over Harry’s bed that night. 

* * *

Over the course of the next month, TN and Harry talked pretty much everyday, if not several times a day. It slowed down a bit when TN announced he’d gotten a part time job. He didn’t mention where, but he was working at a bookstore, just for something to do during the day, three times a week. It didn’t fully inhibit the amount of time they talked, since TN would send messages when there weren’t customers in the store. But it got Harry thinking. 

Maybe he did want a part time job, just something simple to fill some of the hours in the day. So, he went looking and found an opening for a few hours every week at a hardware store in the Muggle town near him. The best part was the discounts he could use toward his woodworking. He found himself making multiple little pieces a week. Giving them way to friends when he didn’t particularly need them. 

It was near the month mark when TN started asking more interesting questions. 

_ TN: So… have you ever had sex? _

_ HP: Oh I see where we’re going tonight.  _

_ TN: Shut up and answer the question, idiot. _

_ HP: Yes, a couple times. All with the same person. It wasn’t particularly excited nor memorable. _

_ TN: Damn you really are a hissing pixie.  _

_ HP: Bugger off. Have you? _

_ TN: Yes. Only like three times, though, with three different people.  _

_ HP: More experience than me.  _

_ TN: Have you ever had sex with a man? _

Harry suddenly realised he never checked TickledNiffler’s gender identity. Assuming from the question, he must also be male. Clicking the profile really quick, his suspicions were confirmed. Surprisingly it did nothing to dissuade Harry’s interest in the man. 

_ TN: You there? Did I scare you off? _

_ HP: I’m here, sorry. I got distracted.  _

_ TN: No worries.  _

_ HP: No, I’ve never had sex with a man.  _

_ TN: Do you want to? _

_ HP: I’m interested in you, aren’t I? _

_ TN: Well, fair, but since your profile said unsure, but open, I didn’t know if this was just becoming a strong friendship or not.  _

_ HP: Definitely not.  _

_ TN: I’m interested in you, too.  _

_ HP: Well, that’s good considering how much we’ve been talking.  _

_ TN: Arse.  _

_ HP: You like it.  _

_ TN: Fair.  _

_ So… _

_ Do you think you’d want to be the top or the bottom in a sexual situation with a man? _

Harry thought for a moment.

_ HP: I don’t really know. I think I’d like to try both eventually. Having no experience in the area, I’d have to figure out what I like.  _

_ TN: Very articulate answer.  _

_ HP: Have you? _

_ TN: What? _

_ HP: Had sex with a man? Do you have a position you prefer? _

_ TN: Once. It was with my best friend and extremely awkward since both of us realized we didn’t feel anything for the other beyond friendship. A lot of alcohol and fumbling was the bulk of my experience. I think I’d like to try again. Both positions.  _

_ With you.  _

Harry paused, smiling, but feeling butterflies swarm in his stomach. He still wasn’t sure if he was ready for TN to know who he was, but he knew he was really interested in him, wishing he could touch him. 

_ TN: Do you want to try something with me? _

_ HP: Like what? _

_ TN: I have these charmed gloves, you have to key it into your magical signature, but when you’re wearing them, you can touch yourself and the other person would feel everything.  _

Breathing labored, Harry paused a moment to get his head back on. It having fallen off and rolled away at the prospect of being able to do something like that with TN. 

_ HP: I’d… really like that.  _

_ TN: I’ll send you a set tomorrow. We can try them out on Friday night. All you have to do is touch your wand to them. _

_ Your actual wand.  _

_ Not  _ that _ wand.  _

Harry burst out laughing. 

_ HP: It’s a date.  _

* * *

Friday came all too soon and not soon enough in Harry’s opinion. He was nervous as all hell, but he was so excited to try something like this with the man that’s captured basically his entire attention as of late. He’d even been skipping out on going to the Leaky with his friends just so he could continue messaging TN. 

It was just past seven at night when his computer dinged. Harry was starting to feel like an idiot because he’d actually felt the need to dress for the occasion. 

_ TN: Sorry about that, I couldn’t get my friend to leave. He was convinced that I was sick because I wouldn’t go out drinking with him tonight. Then he thought I was lying about not having any plans because my dumb arse got dressed all nice for our online dinner.  _

_ HP: I’m having trouble typing because I am laughing so hard.  _

_ I got dressed up too. _

_ TN: Just perfect match things.  _

_ HP: So you haven’t told your friends about us? _

_ TN: No. Is that wrong? I’m not trying to hide you. I just like this being a private thing between us for now, you know? _

_ HP: I completely understand. I haven’t mentioned it either. My friends would be annoying with all the questions they’d ask me.  _

_ TN: Exactly! _

_ HP: So dinner. Do you have everything you need? _

_ TN: Yep, my house elf is rather put out with me for not letting her cook for me.  _

_ HP: Tell her I’ll send her another birdhouse.  _

_ TN: She’s better now. She asked for it to be a dark wood this time.  _

_ HP: I’ll make sure of it.  _

Over the next hour, Harry taught TN how to make chicken bolognese. A simple dish for his first time cooking. Harry went over every little instruction possible so that TN would be able to do it by himself and still come out with an edible product by the end. 

_ HP: So, how is it? _

_ TN: Holy shit, I can’t believe I made this.  _

_ HP: That good, huh? _

_ TN: It’s delicious. Thanks to you. You were a great teacher. Even Mipsy is impressed.  _

_ HP: Tell Mipsy thank you.  _

_ TN: Have you ever thought about becoming a teacher? _

Harry twirled his pasta for a moment, thinking to himself. 

_ HP: Yes, I had a time during fifth year where I was helping some students with… extra credit assignments. Tutoring them basically. It was really fun being able to teach someone else what I know. But I don’t know. It would be a lot of work, and then I’d have to live at the castle. I’m not sure if I’m ready for that again. Everything that happened there.  _

_ TN: I understand. I lost a friend in the battle. He was an idiot, but he was still a friend. I don’t mind keeping you close to me for a little while longer. But you should definitely put it on your list. What are we at now? Five or six potential careers? _

_ HP: This would make six.  _

_ TN: Progress.  _

_ HP: This wine is really good, by the way.  _

_ TN: I am the master at picking wines. Let’s make a toast. _

_ HP: Okay? To what? _ _   
_ _ TN: To new relationships and experiences.  _

_ HP: Cheers _

_ TN: Cheers.  _

_ HP: So, is this a relationship? _

_ TN: I wanted to ask you about that… I’ve basically been thinking of you as my boyfriend for a while now anyway.  _

_ HP: Oh yeah? Aren’t you worried? We still don’t actually know each other’s true identity yet.  _

_ TN: I don’t care. I can’t think of anyone that you would be that would be a deal breaker for me at this point.  _

Harry stopped to take a deep breath and a really long swig of the wine TN picked out. 

_ HP: I feel the same way. _

_ TN: Do you have your gloves? _

_ HP: Yes.  _

_ TN: Go to your bedroom.  _

Harry stood, swishing his wand to clear away his dishes, and start washing them. He grabbed the computer and his wine glass, making the rest of the bottle float behind him up the stairs and to his room. He set the computer on the bed next to him and his glass on his nightstand, letting the bottle land next to it. 

_ TN: Are you there? _ _   
_ _ HP: Yes. _

_ TN: Can you feel this? _

Harry started as he felt the ghost of a hand run down his neck and then come up to cup his cheek. 

_ HP: Yes.  _

_ TN: Good, now for the rest of the date.  _

Harry put on his own gloves and started with something easy. He touched his own chest, enjoying the returning touch to tell him that TN felt it. Starting to undress, he felt the other gloves doing the same. Yelping when he received a pinch to his nipple, he smacked his own hand to tell TN to stop that. He got a light caress back. He was able to fully remove his jacket, shirt, and belt. 

A ding on his computer pulled his attention. 

_ TN: Let me.  _

Harry felt a push to his chest, meaning for him to lay back. Following the ghost hand’s directions, he laid back onto his pillows and waited to see what TN had in mind. He started with cheek and neck caresses again. Slowly letting his hands trail down to Harry’s chest. This time the pinch to his nipple was anything but playful. It caused Harry to moan slightly when he felt a thumb press down after the pinch. 

The hands traveled lower, caressing Harry’s hips. Tapping on the waist band of his trousers, Harry took that as a sign to remove them. Undoing the button and zip, he slid them off, wondering if TN could feel every light caress he made as he was doing so. Once they were off, he laid back again and sucked in a breath when TN brushed his hand over the prominent bulge in his pants. Harry idly wondered if TN was already as hard as he was, too. 

Harry lightly touched his own hip and trailed in down to his crotch, rubbing softly. 

Another ding. 

_ TN: Yes, I’m hard too. Now, let me and be a good boy. Pants off.  _

Harry chuckled and put his hands to the side again after shucking his pants. Now he laid in only his socks and the magical gloves. Moaning loudly when a hand wrapped around his length, Harry threw his head back at the fully comprehensive sensation. It was better than getting himself off because it truly felt like another man’s hands. 

While Harry’s were calloused and rough from Quidditch and manual labor, TN’s were soft and silky on his skin. 

TN pumped slowly, his other hand coming back up to play with Harry’s nipple again. 

Harry was slowly devolving. The touches were driving him wild and he was loving every pass of TN’s hand. Soon the motions became frantic. Pumping faster, Harry’s breathing became labored. All too soon, he was coming so hard, it nearly hit his chin. He moaned with each new pass as TN rode him through his climax. 

_ HP: That was fantastic. Your turn? _

_ TN: In a minute, I came too. Weirdest moment of my life was moaning fucking “Pixie” as I came.  _

_ HP: I’m crying from laughing so hard. Maybe we should fix that? _

_ TN: Are you sure you’re ready? _

_ HP: I think so. Are you off Wednesday? _

_ TN: Yep. _

_ HP: Want to meet at the Leaky for lunch? _

_ TN: It’s a date.  _

_ Now do me a favor. Summon some lube.  _

_ HP: Done. Why? _

_ TN: Because I want you to finger yourself (me) during this next round.  _

Harry nearly choked on his own saliva. 

* * *

Throughout the rest of the weekend and week, Harry and TN finished each night touching each other. On Sunday, Harry received an owl. It was another painting from TN, but this time it was of a man’s naked lower half with a very familiar glove on his hand as it wrapped around his erect cock. 

Harry kept that one in his bedroom, too. 

During work the next Monday, Harry nearly whacked a customer in the face when his limbs and entire body reacted to being pinched on the arse. The only problem? There was a blank wall behind him. 

He excused himself quickly and practically ran to the bathroom, getting there just in time for TN to start jerking off. He tugged so forcefully and quickly, that Harry knew he  _ knew _ he was at work and this had to be a quickie. Shoving his trousers and pants to the ground, he stood in the private bathroom and moaned his release. Coming all over the walls, he painted the side of the toilet stall with his release. Harry quickly summoned a magical camera and took a photo, sticking his finger up so the camera could see toward the mess he made. 

He sent that off to TN, hoping the man got the message that he was in deep, deep trouble. 

On Tuesday, Harry got his revenge. He knew TN was working that morning and that it was usually unreasonably slow. Getting into bed with the gloves on, he opened his computer and waited for the telltale ding to tell him that TN was bored. 

As soon as his computer dinged, he shoved two fingers straight into his tight hole. He finger fucked himself quickly and roughly. 

A ding made him look over as he continued his torture. 

_ TN: Mother fucker! _

Harry smirked and responded by grasping his dick roughly and pumping his hand up and down. Fingers working on his ass, he started twisting them until he knew he was near that special spot inside of himself, curtesy of TN teaching him how to find it. His wrist twisted as he pumped his dick, adding more movements to the wank. Brushing his thumb over the head, he gathered the precum already leaking there and used it to pump faster. Suddenly Harry got an idea and quickly paused in his wanking to grip his ball sack roughly. Merlin, it felt good. 

He went back to wanking just as he pressed against the spot inside of himself that made him see stars. Coming suddenly and hard, Harry screamed out TN’s nickname, not being able to take himself seriously if he screamed “niffler.”

Breathing heavily, he allowed his body to sag into the bed and come down from that amazing high he forced them both on. 

A couple minutes later when Harry was cleaning up, he got another ding. 

_ TN: Message received. No more frisky fun during work hours. Are you sure you weren’t a Slytherin? That revenge was perfectly evil.  _

_ I can’t wait to return the favor tonight.  _

* * *

Harry paced in a private party room at the Leaky. He’d booked it specifically for them so they could meet without the eyes that usually followed him being privy to however this meeting was going to go. 

Waiting in the back corner, so that when the door opened he wasn’t immediately seen, Harry held his breath when he heard footsteps approach. But then they retreated, and then approached again. 

It was nearly two months since they’d started talking. He could physically hear how nervous TN was on the other side of the door, pacing much like he’d been doing a moment ago. 

Suddenly the doorknob was turning. 

The door was slowly being pushed open. 

And there he was. 

TN. 

TickledNiffler367.

Theodore fucking Nott. 

“Nott?” Harry asked softly, Nott’s eyes immediately snapping over to his. 

“Holy Salazar,” Nott breathed. “Potter? Harry Potter?  _ You’re  _ HissingPixie148.”

Harry nodded, “And you’re TickledNiffler367.”

Nott ran a hand through his hair, mussing it up. 

“I— I need a moment. Please excuse me,” Nott said formally, almost running from the room and down the hall to where Harry knew the loo was. 

Harry collapsed into a chair, holding his head in his hands as he rested his elbows on the table. He knew it was too good to be true. No one would ever be able to look past his “hero status.” He wished he’d never signed up for that damn dating site. 

It was with surprise that he felt tears running down his cheek and dripping onto the table. He didn’t think he’d let himself fall that hard that he’d be sitting alone in the Leaky crying, but apparently he had. 

“Harry?”

Harry’s head snapped up; he didn’t know how long he’d been sitting there crying, but it must’ve only been several minutes. 

“Can I call you that?” Nott asked, standing awkwardly at the door again. 

“Of—” Harry’s voice was rough from crying. He cleared it quickly, “Of course you can.”

Nott looked at him abruptly, having been staring at the ground since he walked in. Rushing over to Harry’s side of the table. 

“Are you alright?” Nott sat next to him and took his face into his hands; they were just as soft as Harry thought they’d be. “Were you crying?”

“I thought… I thought you didn’t want… me. Because of who I am,” Harry answered softly, too ashamed to make up a lie and desperately hoping his worries weren’t true. 

Nott chuckled softly. 

“Merlin, no. I’ve wanted you since school. I was just surprised is all. I thought it was too good to be true. Had to go collect myself. I’m sorry. You deserve someone so much better than me.” Nott wiped Harry’s tears and smiled softly in a self-deprecating kind of way. 

Harry brought his hands up to hold Nott’s shoulders, “No. Nott—”

“Theo.”

“Theo, you are the one who deserves better. I have so much baggage that comes with being with me. Not to mention all the fans and press. I’m the one who’s sorry,” Harry said firmly. Then it hit him. “Wait, you’ve liked me since school?”

Theo rolled his eyes, “Yes. One track mind.” Theo chuckled as he brought his hands down to his lap. “Can we start over?”

Harry nodded warily. 

Theo stuck out a hand. “Hi, I’m Theodore Nott Jr. You know me as TickledNiffler— thank Salazar we don’t have to use those names anymore. And we’ve been dating for the past two months.”

Harry grabbed Theo’s hand with a chuckle and shook it. “Hi. I’m Harry Potter. Saviour of the Wizarding World as much as I hate the title. You know me as HissingPixie, and I completely agree on the pennames.”

Theo chuckled with him. 

“So.”

“So,” Harry repeated. 

Sighing, Theo looked at him determinedly. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to do.”

Harry waited as Theo leant forward slowly. Holding his breath when he realized, Harry closed his eyes just as Theo’s lips touched him. It was tentative at first. Just lips on lips. Then Theo moved closer and Harry started moving his mouth along Theo’s. The kiss grew frantic and hot and heavy and hands were grasping at shirts. They were standing and bodies pressed together. 

Pulling back a little, “Want to go to my house? See if the real thing is better than those gloves?”

Theo smirked, “I have a feeling it will be.” He paused. “Harry?”

“Yes?”

“I’m slowly falling in love with you.”

“Me too.”

“Who signed you up for the dating sight?” Theo asked. 

“Hermione.”

“I’ll have to send her a care package,” Theo smirked. 

“What about you?”

“Luna.”

“Did she ever mention what her ‘surefire’ way of guaranteeing a perfect match was?” Harry asked. 

“You sure you want to know?”

“Yes.” Harry nodded. 

“A soulmate charm…” 

* * *

  
  
The real thing was  _ definitely _ better than the gloves. 


End file.
